Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
