Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
