From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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