...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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