PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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