ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
