I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
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She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
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He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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