Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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