I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
