You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
