she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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