I can tuck mytits in my pants
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize