Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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