Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
