Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
