Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
