I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
barbara walters just said penis...
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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