I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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