1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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