A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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