There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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