i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
