Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
