he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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