Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
