The best revenge is premature balding
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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