I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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