dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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