you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
