Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
