i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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