I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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