I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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