You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
