How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i will never coherently bang her
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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