i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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