i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
