i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
