so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
