Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
