I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize