i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
