Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
