He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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