capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
