Your mouth is God's brothel.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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