I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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