at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
