My hand turned me down
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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