bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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