There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize