we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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