Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
