Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
