It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
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They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
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I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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