I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
