is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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